the life that is for rent
Monday, July 6th, 2009
It is a compelling thought but the moment it enters my psyche it convinces me it can be done. The possibility of acquiring HIV increases every moment I press the texts on the keyboard. But a need is a need.
After three days since my account was created and a banner shout out declaring I am very open to sex, messages came pouring in.
This is what cynicism gave me after short years of trying. Short years but looks like I had my share already in the cat and mouse game of intimacy. The reason is lack of self image and personal stability during rough times, and not lack of perfect partners.
This hunt I’m in is not an ego thing for me or to test my social proof in a carnivore infested world. Though this lifestyle I choose and learned to love so well is nothing but an ego and power play but not to some people, especially me. But no matter how I deny it, the ego thing is a factor. But let me say, probably, I am romancing my carnal desire, it’s more practical than forevers and I love yous.
I open the first letter on my inbox; he was the first among the 13 guys who like to be my fuck buddy. Wow!
Yes I am looking for a fuck buddy. It is something I never tried before, and maybe will never try if I let this moment pass. Testosterone could be so demanding sometimes.
The world is rule by sperm cells.
My experience told me, and the skills I acquired from other PLUs, all you need is a little art of seduction. Kunyari a visual taste of my confidence and worth, when in fact, release is all I want. To hell with confidence.
“Hey I got a place. 091761***** —”
It was everything the message contains. It was from coolesthotguy86. (The guy is fucking handsome, and the poses in his photo? oohh, damn heavenly even with shirt on!)
It took me quite a time before I replied to coolesthotguy86, I shake myself off and proceed to the next message but I can’t get my eyes off coolesthotguy86.
I click on reply, gave my number, and waited.
I also sent out my reply to five more people who welcomed the idea of fuck buddies. I also crawled the “who’s online” section and contacted at least 5 more people. Then I wait.
As I sit here in front of the monitor, my face that is young, a few lines that merges when I laugh or frown, wait or waiting is the operative word for my life that is now, for rent.
But for how long?
