bad loveletters: the love that didn’t give courage

I listen as you toss your dreams in the sky and the rainbows are burning and I felt jealous and I felt left alone. Though I haven’t stop wondering what it really to takes to love someone like you. That one numbs me.

But second chances are mere surprises. Don’t blame me after I’ve said all I want to say and all that I wanted to be. I am not overlooking the possibilities. Run, running away, or runaway is all the same to me. Open your eyes because I can tell you’re wanting better days—not just a patch of illustrated flattened halo running along the locked lips of the heaven and earth in the horizon.

Why do you still keep them inside? Reckoning when something sacred to shine over the eternal eclipse you made. How you watch them all go in the in the open hills and forest floors, and now you are crying?

I didn’t say you were trying to hard when I thought you haven’t tried enough. I don’t want to be the one standing in front of your dreams. You can’t always turn your back when everything stops.

I cannot catch your fall. I am just not there: you didn’t lose me.

You are stronger than I am. It is always yours, not mine. You rather leave me now.

I have no path to follow today; I don’t intend to drag you along. But somewhere in the future I’ll find my own. (Don’t you understand or you’re just too blind to see that I’m searching for myself out there.) You’ve seen all my problems and you know it’s chaotic. And the two of us just make it worst. How come and why this love didn’t give us courage?

If ever tomorrow will have something new for us…I mean if ever we’ll meet again; you can tell it to my face how bad I am in the art of letting go. But I will say how disgusted I am when you cry.

But then somehow I am sure of one thing though that this day will be called “once.” That once I hoped that time makes us wiser…that once I fall in love to the one of the most beautiful person I’ve ever known who is also a dreamer like me.

*bad love letters.. are collections of fictional missives about love. September is love letter month in argunn.i.ph